Something curious happened to me today. Something that had only happened once in my life: watching first the end of a film instead of the beginning because of a mistake. I’m a really absent-minded girl, that’s for sure, but this time, it was all different.
I didn’t miss any of the details of the film that would make me feel lost or as if I couldn’t understand what was going on, because everything was being repeated over and over. But it made me feel as if my life was going this way: the end comes before the beginning. My life is going upside-down. And it may be a coincidence that the film I was about to enjoy was The Green Mile. Now that’s how I feel, I feel just like Tom Hanks: walking through the mile with no end, hurting someone who doesn’t deserve it at all and who has all the positive energies you can find on Earth. Accidentally. Regretting (even if I shouldn’t). Realizing. With the impossibility of doing anything at the moment but waiting, thinking over, making changes for the future.
I can feel it all. I don’t need to see it with my own eyes to feel the sorrow. The good energies, the pain, the broken world.